Reading Journal | The Inmate - Freida McFadden
As I previously mentioned, I'm here with a very thorough review (?) of The Inmate written by Freida McFadden. I picked up this book only last week, and I still have a half finished whatever other book on my night stand waiting for me to finish it, but I couldn't wait starting this one. I didn't expect much though, Freida McFadden is a pretty popular writer these days. I see her books everywhere, so I thought she'll be something very ordinary that vibes with everyone except of course me.
The book then was a huge — and a very positive — disappointment. But in a really good way, because despite my first expectations, this book held me under a spell from page one.
Let's be clear on this. I picked up this book, because of the title. I've been exploring an unhealthy amount of true crime throughout my entire life from early childhood, and only last year, I opened my website to collect the crimes felt special. And I was bloody curious of this book.
The entire blurb gave away a very special story of this inmate, who's stuck in prison for life and this woman who's new job is in this exact prison.
At the beginning, I expected a completely different story about a completely new inmate in her life and I was a bit taken aback when she revealed that he is in prison because of her testimony. That changed the taste a bit, and I immediately gave up on the troublesome love story I've expected.
But being different from what I expect isn't always a bad thing. And now, I warn you... only read this discussion if you already finished this book or if you don't mind a big fat spoiler-house, because this will be one. You might want to use it to read a note after finishing the sequence I'd written about. In that case, please find my e-mail adress ath the bottom of the page, and don't be afraid to contact me.
Last chance to turn back! I warned you.
In this discussion, you will see my notes on what I thought during the reading regardless of how right or wrong I was at the time. I started making notes after chapter 26. This goes on until the end.
After Chapter 26:
“Just finished chapter 26. I find it very exciting and endearing to read the parts from their past. I feel really sad about Shane. I don't think he is the killer.
I’ll be honest, I feel personally involved in this story. Seeing as their relationship was in the hiding it stage, and being all excited to spend the night with a bunch of other teens is very much understandable. A bit like a long lost memory from my actual life that I missed out on, so I’m not sure if I’m right.
But I actually think Tim framed Shane and it was deliberate. I think he knocked Shane out, used his aftershave then choked Brooke with the necklace he gave her. Out of jealousy. He hated Shane not exactly for being a bully but because he wanted Brooke and Brooke saw him as a friend while she loved Shane. And I think he hid the knives and he stabbed Brandon. Brandon was a total jerk earlier so…
They are in this pretty rough situation with all connection with the world is cut off and electricity is down. I bet it was also Tim. And I suspected it was him ever since he first saw them in that car parking too close to their house. I found that way too suspicious.
However, Tim being the real killer is way too neatly obvious… These thoughts might just be what Freida deliberately planted into every reader’s head.
I'm not just trying to find evidence that it was him, Freida deliberately provides those evidences. Actually I find no one else particularly suspicious. Probably deliberate. Not even an outside person or anything. But! There can be a plot twist and maybe it's nor Tim, neither Shane.
But I don't believe this.
And one more thing. If I was Brooke, I could never testify against my boyfriend unless I’m 100% certain. So I'm absolutely disturbed to see that she does all this and she never seen him being the one attacking her. That's betrayal at max, and she is only 17. I’m reluctant to believe that a 17 year old girl would believe anything like this about her boyfriend, but it might just be me. I was always pretty dumb and too trusting in the love department.”
After Chapter 36:
“I just finished Chapter 36 and I thought she still had that necklace but Tim (?) clearly had it the whole time. Also I think he is becoming too suspicious and at this point, I expect a huge plot-twist. Something like Mark was out there and killed his classmates or something like that. Mark clearly wants Brooke now, but I'd bet on my last penny that he only wants her to torture Shane further!
But at this point I wouldn't go this far. The way Tim reacts to things also doesn't seem to be right. The only person who seem to be quite reasonable for his situation is Shane. But thinking he might be innocent just leaves me disappointed for some reason I can’t explain.
This book kills me..💀
As for Mark again. What kind of asshole should one be to torture someone who lives his own hell daily. He even invests his whole life into this prison job. I think Mark is the most pathetic person I've ever read about. Wasting a life on torturing your school bully? Really? Get a hobby.”
After Chapter 41:
“Just finished chapter 41 and... I'm eager to write this out. As soon as Tim asked her to get wine from the basement, my brain blown full alarm:
DON'T FUCKING GO DOWN THE BASEMENT!!!
And also.. I couldn't wait for Shane to realise he's got a son. But fucking hell it gave him a bigger punch than any of the punches he ever received in prison. I'm all out for that guy's innocence from the start, I would even testify (this is exaggeration, of course). Uhh, I expected something like this to happen after I saw there is a chapter "2 months later" soon. But I hope the rest of the book solves Shane's problem to and he gets to see his son in real life.
I never thought Chelsea would be the killer but I did think they shouldn't let the two boys be by themselves. One might die. It would have been safer if they were all together, Shane was right. Whichever of them is the killer, he can’t kill until 2 other are watching.
And Tim’s idea of them better stay in the room… is only suspicious because then: Is he really willing to stay out there with someone who possibly killed Brandon and Kayla?
And at this point I think he only just didn't kill him because he wanted to frame him. Terrible fucking asshole. Not for the murder... but for everything he's doing all along. (?)
I don’t really know why am I reluctant to feel the cute childhood love and let myself like Tim a bit more.”
After Chapter 48:
“I just finished chapter 48. And wtf, I'm scared. I was all in on Shane being pretty innocent. But Tim ended up in prison way too early in the book and now Shane wants to visit his childhood home.
This is not a good sign. A massacre happened there, and he spent 11 years in prison. Why would he want to see it so desperately if he was a victim too?
There is a lot of manipulation happening around this. I have to admit, I see too many red flags around the whole reunion at this point. For example the sex that happened because Brooke feels guilty for stealing ten years of his life. Then the breakfast scene. He plans to do handy job. (This was also one of the reasons why I thought Tim was suspicious too, but I guess it might just be Freida liking handy man.) He's making pancakes the day after getting out of prison. Good thing, which is pretty suspicious given the circumstances and the fact that someone left the house last night with Brooke’s car. And I’m a big advocate of trusting in each other in a relationship, but when you literally hear your car’s engine at night and a guy sleeps in your guest-room who just happened to get out of prison, the least you can do is checking out that freaking car… But everyone loves pancakes so, should we forget about the fact that your key’s were one shelf higher than where you’d automatically put them?
Then he wants to clean the driveway from snow before anyone asked him. Okay, this guy left the prison yesterday. Could he be just grateful? Yes. He could but at the same time he is heavily disregarding Brooke's feelings about the night of the massacre. I mean this woman just said she is not comfortable. She isn’t quite hiding it.
Then the fact he makes her feel guilty because he can not drive yet without a licence. Which if he really is innocent is really Brooke’s fault.
And the fact that a person is able to enter Brooke's garage to use her car – and she's dumb enough to not check it out – suggest... someone could have entered Tim's house as well? To dump Kelli's body?
I know my brain is overworking now.... but I’m really scared that he ends up being the real killer. No, I actually accepted him as a possible killer. I’m worried that he is about to do something that will end his new freedom?
Why am I so attached? Is that because I imagined Shane to look like… him?
After all, why would Tim let her wander down there if he knew the body was there and she could see it?
His mum might be right? But..
Who could do such a thing? The body had barely any smell that gives it away as a corpse. It’s smell is described as a faint and musky. But you need to treat a corpse to not smell like a slaughterhouse. Even if it’s just a rat, let alone a human.
But it wouldn’t be the first weird thing in the book that doesn’t make sense. I mean she needed to stitch up a wound without anaesthetic. Come to think of it. I hope this was just Freida's imagination and not happening anywhere.
And actually.. I'm worried about this farm. I really hope he isn't going to attack Brooke or anything, but as the things stand the biggest plot-twist would be, if he turned out to be a really nice guy after all. I really trusted him but I don't trust Freida. There is too much left of the book for a happy ending here...… I mean a happy ending for Shane.”
After Chapter 50:
“Oh boy, I just finished chapter 50. And I think Brooke has serious issues.
I mean, yeah I bet it's a good idea that Tim and Shane worked together. But the motives are missing.
Hunt makes sense. He's dead and her car was used at night. So she thinks... but she's dumb and a bit crazy so whatever she thinks, says and interprets seems like garbage at this point.
She was sure enough that Shane tried to kill him when she testified at 17. Then she was sure Tim’s done the whole damn thing. Now, she’s pretty sure it was both. But what I think; she needs help.
So okay she knew for ten years that it was Shane's body and she mentioned it early in the book. No one else could attack her only Shane. She knew his body after all. But then disregarded her own reality to believe it was a different built guy (and this resulted him ending up in prison) just to circle back to Shane as culprit (after he was set free). Who had basically 0 known motivation to work with Tim and Tim was invited by Brooke. So Shane that night didn't actually know he was gonna come. And they hated each other anyway.
Tim knew he was gonna spend the night, but he didn't have his change of clothes and other things. And the knives were missing.
But when did they go missing?
But for Brooke to invite Tim, how was she possibly manipulated if this whole thing was planned between the two?
So it doesn't make much sense and I hope Brooke gets to see a psychiatrist and Shane should be untouched T_T. Even if he killed Hunt. He deserved it really, gah, that guy.
But that's the other thing. Why would Shane kill Hunt first thing after release? I mean... that is a bit dumb isn't it? You’re finally free. You get to see your son and this is the first night out for him.
Also, Brooke is struggling with all this news she’s discovering online, while her son is out with who she thinks is a murderer – or at least thought for 11 years. Is she crazy?
I also got a really bad feeling about Brooke being manipulated into entering the house with her son. I mean Brooke said she wouldn’t come in, so Shane invited Josh too. This way she needs to come in.
I still don't want to accuse Shane, but everything he is doing is very glib manipulation.
And Brooke is the dumbest woman to stay behind in the house where she was almost murdered and let her son out with a guy freshly out of prison. Terrible. And her thoughts about being a family again are quite weird too.
I'll be honest, a few other things are bothering me too.
Shane suddenly enters their life again. Straight after Brooke told her son that Tim was arrested quite blatantly like ... he is 10 years old, didn't you find a polished version? He was lied to in this 10 years of his life. You could have said something less terrifying.
Then another man enters his life straight away. Obviously he wouldn't like Shane stepping into what he thinks was Timothy's place. Who he liked and he turned out to be a con man, right?
And...
Chelsea was stabbed. Even if Brooke still heard her muffled screams when/while she was choked, that could have been her stabbed and left to bleed out. Not necessarily an evidence of a second killer.
Also she is forgetting about the body at the bottom of the stairs. Who was that if Shane and Tim worked together? Because she tripped over that body. It had to be either Tim or Shane.
So I believe in people killing with 0 motives out of curiosity. We saw a lot of that. But these two teamed up?? Tim and Shane? It doesn't seem to make any sense at all not even with them having that awkward private conversation at the beginning of the night.
There is another thing I'm catching on. While I don't believe Tim and Shane could plan this together. I definitely believe Tim and someone else could team up. And that person is Mark Hunt. He had motives – Shane beat him up and broke his ribs – and an awful personality too..
Also let me point this out awkwardly.. Brooke always said something about Tim after kissing or sex. Something like, it was great, and what he was like. With Shane, she only mentioned that it wasn't too long. Nothing about how it felt for her to kiss and have the man again who she was in love with for the very first time.... and that is quite... hm. Weird. I mean I was really looking forward to some more. Even though she made a pretty awkward comment earlier too. About their first time. She mentioned it was "good for a first". Okay.. I'm going back to the book now, to find this out T_T I hope my Shane survives this book I came to really like him.”
After Chapter 51:
“I just finished chapter 51. I think Margie put the body into Tim's house and she stalked Brooke so she knew the connection between her an Kelli. I am not convinced Tim was part of the plan 11 years ago but it's still possible. Freida likes to deceive me. Actually Shane acting like this – the phone call – makes 100% more sense to me than anything else that happed between them in the previous chapters..
Whether he is the killer or not, he spent the last 11 years of his life in prison, got beaten up daily and this is all thanks to Brooke’s testimony.
But I think Brooke was stupid to not go with them. He was in prison and she put him there, I wouldn't let my son out with him. Especially not the two of them where I can't see them. And I bet Margie is either Shane's or Tim's mum. If she put the body into Tim's basement then she's obviously not Tim's. I strongly believe she is Shane's mum though. Uh…
But this is not very convincing. They just recognised everyone. She had some nice things to say about Shane’s mum, so how could she possibly not recognise her even if she lost weight and got gray hair now?? I don't really like where it goes.
Also there was this small detail hidden there. When Josh arrives home and wants to snack, Shane says his mum used to spread peanut butter on ritz for him as snack. Then Margie’s name came up. Margie gave Josh the same kind of snack. This of course doesn’t mean much, but I noticed.
I'm just a bit disappointed. Not in Shane. Actually this makes sense even if he wasn't the one strangling her all those years ago.
I’m disappointed in Brooke.
And a bit in the writing.
(I'm still a bit shocked that we didn't get a very sensory description on how good Shane was during their hm.. sex, quite the opposite..🫣) And because she is soo dumb. Such trauma she is carrying and still trusts Shane after his eyes darken upon disagreement.. This is something like a NUMBER ONE red flag.
I'm confused. I think I also can be very sentimental toward a sexy guy... – especially if that guy looks quite like him (and I imagined Shane looking like him) – very soon, but this is a lot even for me.
I wanted a weird ending something like they tell Josh who Shane is to him and then... right before the happy ending there is a clue that he was responsible and now roaming free and happy. A little disturbing sign when you want to shout to warn Brooke. But this is heading to the exact opposite direction. All the things happening are always making it very very clear that the character is heading towards a certain fate. So I fear Shane would end up back in prison 🫣
I don't want to think Shane would hurt his own son. But at this point.. the “manipulative” on his sheet makes more sense than ever if he does. Even if he doesn't... I'm just sad about him. Whether he killed or not, I just wanted them to reunion.
At this point I'd find it interesting if after what is going on with Brooke, they tried to prove she is mentally unstable and admit her into an institution while Shane gains custody of the son and that's all there is to what he meant by “Brooke's turn” to miss time with their child…”
After the Epilogue:
“I had to stop reading yesterday.
I was so absorbed in the story, at that point I didn't consider Brooke a person, and I couldn't tell she was good or bad. I felt really like I'm living this thing and I'm Brooke.
When Shane and her had that conversation on the phone, I pretty much felt like the best guy on earth betrayed me and I forgot to wish him to get away with the whole thing – like I normally would.
I just wanted to fix the whole thing. I wanted them to reconcile. Wanted to find a way to fix this. I wanted her to make her suspicions less obvious to Shane, and think they can love each other in the future or something.
One thing that I have no idea about;
If this has happened to me, I would have contacted Shane's mum to tell her about the child. Maybe not straight away. Maybe only when I'm trough the hardest part. But her son is in jail for murder and the least I can do is to tell her about that grandson she is having, right?
Maybe not. But I mean it. I would have told her and I would have let her meet him behind my parents back.
Basically Brooke's parents lied to her throughout her whole life and she was in danger because of her dad after all. She doesn’t know this, but despite that we saw little feelings on Brooke's side toward her parents.
I'm telling you... the weirdest thing was to find out Tim is actually a good person. I don't know. He was too perfect and suspicious of being something that I can't name. And he probably annoyed me because I wanted her to patch things up with Shane. This fixation made me enjoy this book so much by the way.
As for Shane... after his mum filled us in on the whole story it made even less sense.
For example, why did he kill Tracy Gifford? From what Brooke tells us about Pamela's confession at the end, it seems like Tracy wasn't really part of the big plan that followed it. Tracy was the start and Shane and Brooke started dating later?
Which means... Shane never loved Brooke.
He wasn't a disappointed past lover who wanted revenge for his imprisonment rightful or not. He just hated her guts for the money her dad earns the entire time?
I just hate the fact that he died and I really wanted to give a fucking terrible review on this book for just that.
But somehow... it was a too good book for a bad review. I haven’t felt this way during reading for a long time. And I love the way I couldn’t get anything right throughout the entire book.
The epilogue from Josh's pov saved the whole thing as well.
I'm pretty curious how Tim knew that Shane's gonna get out of prison.
What struck me was the whole fucking misery around Brooke.. and only at the end she manages only one sorry. But even that is like... “but I suffered too” kind of sorry. Which is fair enough but you brought this upon yourself so shut up. She was lucky because Tim wasn't about to rub it in her face. I don’t know many people who wouldn’t.
As for how this all connects to my feelings, Shane was so much like him (the mystery person I only refer to as "him") His family background and all. Maybe not the strong bond with mum. But all the rest. It was eerie to read the whole thing.
The eeriest was how bad she handled a few things. For example, staying back in the house where someone tried to kill her eleven years ago while his son is out with the guy who spent that eleven years in prison for wanting to kill her that night. She made way too many questionable choices. And I think if she was out with them building a snowman... I don't know. They probably would have tried killing her anyway. And her son was probably safe with his dad all along.
And actually... maybe it would have been safer for Shane if Josh knew he was his father.
Or if he just kept the act up with Brooke on the phone.
But maybe not. Josh was convinced that Shane is a bad person.
I bet Shane and Josh might too had some sociopathy going on. Not facts just my feeling about this. Maybe some genes.
Shane and his mum’s moneylessness and him not having a dad, his mother's questionable morality… According to everything I learn about serial killers from my investigations, I think he was doomed to eventually commit a murder. Not because it was inevitable, but because it's a book. And then he killed Tracy. We’re not sure why did that happen. It irritates me.
Josh killed his dad out of necessity – to save his mum – and I don't believe he would ever murder again. Until he can tell himself that this is the only way… so I wish we could meet him in the future in another book. I want to know how his life panned out.
But actually, remember when I said I wanted Shane to settle with them as a family and then a hint that he was the killer all along?
Well... we got exactly that kind of ending with Josh's revelation in the epilogue.
I think I liked that part the most. It really saved the whole Shane really is evil and kidnapped my son thing in only a couple of innocent looking pages.
The weird part is.. I still didn't feel a lot of affection toward Tim. Somehow, even though he saved Brooke and was her childhood best friend who bought her a golden necklace as a child… he cooks, washes up, has a good job, reliable. Still wtf. I don't know why. He didn’t hit hard.
Another things I noticed. We saw children killing man to protect their mum. I think it is entirely believable. However what I hardly believe is the autopsy results. They sure had a look, right? He had multiple severe head injuries that sure didn't look as if individual icicles falling on him accidentally, right? He was hit multiple times while lying on the ground.
Also, why didn't he try and defended himself ? As a person lived in prison and practically grown up there, one would think that he isn't some wimp that a 10 year old child could easily kill. Josh states that he was rubbing his eyes, so he was also conscious?
Another thing. So Pamela was at home, she killed Chelsea upstairs while Brook is choked over Tim's bleeding body. But in the end when Brooke makes a run for it and Tim collects his lasts to knock Shane out... Where is Pamela then? – Shane’s mum. That is a lot of time and opportunity for her to come and get Brooke. Weird. It is such a hole in the plot. Especially given the fact that everyone only died because SHE was the target.
I'm confused. This book occupied my head-space all day yesterday despite not reading it after that few chapters in the morning. But I admit, it was a long time ago that I enjoyed a book this much.
It was a bloody good book!
Thank you for reading all of this^^ If you also read the book and want to discuss it, drop and e-mail to psycho_kaos at PM.ME
I’d love to hear you out!